Do you often find yourself lost and afraid of what the future will bring? Are your friends always talking about RAM, diskettes, and computer worms? The technological age is upon us and all you can do is to think:

! Oh god but what is worms? How do I install Google? What sort of smell is that? Why is HTML so advanced? Is DOS a thing I feel like it might be? If I smile and nod will my nerd friends think I understand? !

Don't worry, the easy solution is here - Ausmerica.exe is only some clicks away!

But what does Ausmerica.exe do?
  • Safe storage of passwords in .txt files
  • Fail-proof anti-virus protection - Ausmerica.exe leaves no room for any other threats
  • Colourises all text, globally
  • Emits tones proven to repel insects
  • Real-time telemetry and G-meter
  • Prevents the corruption of important system files by removing them
  • No forced reboots - we never update
  • Snakes are cool but I wouldn't touch one
  • Increased system stability through refreshing scents.

What does this mean for you, the user? It's simple. Ausmerica.exe offers no-fuss, secure computing solutions. When your friends ask, simply say: "I use Ausmerica.exe - it's executable!" and they'll know you are all business.

"But how much does all this cost me?"

In real money, that's less than many things, yet with Ausmerica.exe you get the complete set of thirteen 8" floppy disks for this one-time low, low price.
    
Flavour choice:
Xtra Zesty Lemon.
Burning Wood.
Strawberry and Cream in Vinegar.
Fresh Egg (Sold Out).
Salty Ocean Spray.

Partial disclaimer. Ausmerica.exe and affiliated patrons are not liable for injury or trauma incurred from use, or misuse, of Ausmerica.exe software or packaging. Ausmerica.exe is sold "as is" and comes without warranty. Any damage sustained from continued use of Ausmerica.exe software is considered to be due to user inattention and thus Ausmerica.exe rejects liability in these, and all other cases. Ausmerica.exe ships sans Terms of Service and Ausmerica.exe is unaccountable for the misuse of Ausmerica.exe. It is advised that the Ausmerica.exe software is not used for the following purposes: Generating erotic pixel art, nuclear aberrations, storing passwords, installing on computer systems, coups d' état, taming wild animals, taming human people, or storing government data. Ausmerica.exe is installed and used at the risk of the user. Any scents experienced during use are purely coicidental.

Proudly hosted by Grickitus, 2015: "Dating Tips for Men".